Friday fun - Introducing a new posting category for joking around. Enjoy this week's spoof on pet adoption ads wet with mythological slobber.
Aging large breed working dog is free to a loving home. He answers to the name Cerberus, and has the unique feature of having three heads. This extraordinary animal has spent a lifetime as a guard dog in a highly aggressive environment but is ready to retire into the care of the right owner.
Age has mellowed the demonic tendencies of Cerberus. He admittedly needs a firm hand, but has lots of love to give. His original owner Hades is no longer willing to maintain his famous guard dog after the installation of a computerized and weaponized surveillance system. The callous disposal of older working dogs is a quiet tragedy. Don't let the aggressive past of Cerberus make you dismiss his potential to be a loyal companion. In the right environment Cerberus would provide faithful service.
People who might be a great match for adopting Cerberus are:
- Carnival business people - The freak appeal of Cerberus combined with his bonus ability to guard your motor home is too good to pass up. He'd be a real moneymaker.
- Missionaries - Send other people's guard dogs to Hell and get those pamphlets to their doors. Bonus! Rare breeds make great conversation starters.
- Seniors - Really show those bossy busybodies in charge of your retirement community's association what you think of their size rules for pets. As an added bonus, Cerberus loves children, so he can entertain your grandkids.
If you're interested in adopting Cerberus, please respond to email@example.com