Sunday, September 7, 2014

The 10 Best Things About Being in a Fantasy Book

1. I would get to solve problems with swords, usually magic swords. Might would make right, and irritating time sucks like compromise and diplomacy could be avoided.  

2. Conan could be my baby daddy. I know I'll probably never see him again, but those are some fine genetics. I could stand to skip the being rescued from a demon-summoning sorcerer first, but you have to do interesting things to meet interesting people.

3. Short people matter! I'd save the world and get a mithril shirt. 

4. I just might make that relationship with a foreplay-ignorant horse lord barbarian work. At least I'll get a nice white horse and baby dragons to keep me company.

5. Having a friend who is a thief is actually a good thing. I can outsource the dirty work of stealing and still get credit for saving him from prison.

6. I could ride pretty horses all the time.

7. I could be really really good at archery, as in making Robin Hood's jaw drop I'm so good at archery. Of course this ability would be obtained through special elf training that was given to me in secret because the knowledge is too good for a lowly human.

And speaking of elves...

8. I would actually get to see elves. I would be hanging out with them, but it would be awkward because they're so much better than me. They have nice things that are magic. My stuff is worn out and made of cow dung. The elves are just trying to be polite until I go away.

9. At some point I might find myself alone with a gruff and mighty warrior. Hopefully after a little exploratory flirting, I will find out that his amazing elf girlfriend just dumped him. I'll help him get over her.

10. I could take to the road with a group of close friends and go on a quest. We'd laugh. We'd sing. We'd take wrong turns and have to fight goblins and wild boars. But eventually we'd win the treasure and end up at the banquet of some elf princess. And maybe if everything wraps up nicely at the end, I'll go home with a magic ring that I won't tell anybody about for a very long time.

Indie fantasy with fresh ideas

Union of Renegades: The Rys Chronicles Book I - Free Ebook for any device at Brave Luck Books.

Rys Rising: Book I - Free Ebook for any device at Brave Luck Books.

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